var quotenumber = 50 ;
var randomnumber = Math.random() ;
var rand1 = Math.round( (quotenumber-1) * randomnumber) + 1 ;
quotes = new Array
quotes[1] = "I have jello in my trousers!"
quotes[2] = "You are a person of imaginative, yet dishonest intentions."
quotes[3] = "Get away from me, you wall-eyed pike!"
quotes[4] = "Someone who deserves special attention awaits your magical voice. Bleah."
quotes[5] = "No more of your voodoo pork!"
quotes[6] = "You may rely on it."
quotes[7] = "Look, you have to face it sometime: you *are* the sad clown of life."
quotes[8] = "Live today as if it will never end. Because it will. And then you will die."
quotes[9] = "He who walks with wolves gets maimed for life."
quotes[10] = "You will meet an enchanting stranger who will give you an even more enchanting infection."
quotes[11] = "Look, I don't know who you are and I'm not getting paid very much to come up with these things so just piss off!"
quotes[12] = "Your magnetic personality is pulling on the fillings in my mouth. Go away."
quotes[13] = "Look on the bright side: Tomorrow is another day. However, you will still be hounded by regrets and agony."
quotes[14] = "Are you going to take that from a girl?"
quotes[15] = "You are one of those people who "goes places in life." But because you use quotation marks, you will be universally hated."
quotes[16] = "All Cornish gentlemen eat Cornish gentlehens."
quotes[17] = "You believe in the putridness of mankind."
quotes[18] = "Stop touching me now."
quotes[19] = "You long to see the great pyramids in Egypt. Honestly, you do."
quotes[20] = "Accept the next proposition you hear."
quotes[21] = "You have tasted the sweetness as well as the bitterness of coffee."
quotes[22] = "You have tasted the sweetness as well as the bitterness of cottage cheese."
quotes[23] = "You may at one time be sporty, impratical or intensely restless. What?"
quotes[24] = "Can you dig it?"
quotes[25] = "Weasels will soon inhabit your pants."
quotes[26] = "Believe in yourself. If you think you can."
quotes[27] = "I sense pork rinds in your future. Definitely invest in pork rinds."
quotes[28] = "Without a doubt."
quotes[29] = "Soup?"
quotes[30] = "Music fills your soul and you long to sing. But please, I beg of you, go outside to do it."
quotes[31] = "Now THAT'S some hot Mormon porn!"
quotes[32] = "Your breath is so minty!"
quotes[33] = "Who says you're stupid?"
quotes[34] = "You're 100% fun!"
quotes[35] = "Leave my momma out of this."
quotes[36] = "It is time to help a friend in need with a beating."
quotes[37] = "Someone is talkin' crap about you."
quotes[38] = "You form passionate relationships without compromising your herpes."
quotes[39] = "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures, like oral sex."
quotes[40] = "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures, like cannibalism."
quotes[41] = "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures, like church burnings."
quotes[42] = "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures, like cat fights."
quotes[43] = "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures, like wife swapping."
quotes[44] = "Know the right moment...to bring up the time you spent in prison."
quotes[45] = "You have richness in your soul. But get the hell away from me."
quotes[46] = "You have richness in your soul, but an odor in your pants."
quotes[47] = "We are living in an eternity, but you are going to die tomorrow."
quotes[48] = "Your tactful nature voids needless quarrels."
quotes[49] = "Your smile makes everyone thank god for the art of dentistry."
quotes[50] = "Your smile makes countries go to war."
var quote = quotes[rand1]